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Finding Life Balance
Finding balance amid the chaos is an art, not a science, and each person’s path will be different. It requires time out for reflection and a change in perspective. You may need to learn new disciplines and techniques to empower your body and mind. It may require that you get support to change your lifestyle and take action in a new direction.
Every day we’re further entrenched in our heads, analyzing, rationalizing, planning, and surviving, often with a nagging sense that something vital is missing that would help us feel more complete and at peace. When life is out of balance in this way, we begin to feel disconnected, and can be unaware that we’re making poor personal and business decisions. Failing to restore a sense of balance takes us further away from our goals and dreams and an experience of meaningfulness and satisfaction. Often past traumas or disappointments get in the way, perhaps causing loss of self-esteem and creating self-doubts about our worthiness. Everyone, no matter how rich, successful, or famous, is subject to feelings of low self-esteem or a belief that they aren’t “good enough.”
One of my favorite ways to gain perspective on decisions or life choices is to ask myself the same question that the Seneca elders posed: Am I contributing to a greater degree of harmony in myself and the world with this action, or adding to the chaos and confusion? Life doesn’t need to be filled with relentless challenge, obstacles, and crisis. We have the ability to live a full, rewarding, and productive life despite the turmoil around us. Because chaotic times cause us to question our priorities and modes of thinking, they represent an opportunity to assess what’s really important — what we most value in life.
One of the most valuable principles of feng shui is the practice of cleaning one’s house and going through all of the files, storage spaces, and personal belongings. All matter has energy and a certain feel to it (compare, for example, a clean sink to a dirty sink), and you may find yourself surrounded by furniture, clothes, knick-knacks, and so on that feel old or no longer relevant to your life. Clearing this clutter and letting go of items you don’t need is a way of creating space for new opportunities to come into your life.
Holding on to family heirlooms, for instance, although they are beautiful and of great value, may be draining your energy if those keepsakes don’t inspire you. Immersing yourself in reminders of your regrets, failures, disappointments or painful memories will not contribute to personal growth. Hanging on to something out of a sense of obligation, such as a gift you don’t like but feel you must keep so you won’t hurt someone’s feelings, is a big energy depleter.
Not surprisingly, individuals who surround themselves with lots of “stuff” tend to lack focus. This often characterizes those who live in the fast lane, juggling multiple commitments, responsibilities, and distractions. Instead of determining which areas of their lives are most important and deserve the greatest amount of time and attention, they scatter their energies in so many directions that no one area is successful. Unfortunately, we often become so accustomed to our lifestyle and surroundings that we don’t realize how negatively they might be affecting our energy and ability to get control of our personal and professional lives.
A good rule of thumb: Keep only those objects that make you feel energized, happy or joyful. Some questions to consider when reflecting on your home environment:
- How does the “container” I live in support my intentions?
- How does my home make me feel? Tired, overwhelmed, inspired, at peace?
- What objects need to be given away?
- Where in my home is the best location to create a place of contemplation, reflection, and relaxation?
Once you begin rearranging your personal belongings and giving some of them away, you’ll experience firsthand how material objects and possessions can affect your energy and how you view yourself and the world around you. If you already have an energy practice (e.g., yoga, meditation, or Chi Gung), attending to your physical surroundings will enhance those efforts. An unintended by-product of creating a home that “feels good” is that it will also enhance its value. In my experience, buyers will pay at least ten percent above the market value of a home just because it feels “right” to them.
When you learn how to slow down, simplify, and create an environment that nourishes your spirit, your life will become more balanced, harmonious, and fulfilling. From a more centered and focused state of mind, you can make wiser decisions. You’ll then be able to discover the nature of your own particular genius, stop trying to conform to other people’s models, and learn to be your authentic, individuated self.